"I have watched my now 7 year old son develop from an infant/toddler that headbanged, didn't speak until over 3 years old, threw violent tantrums, was nonsocial and would shut down, to being a boy who has taught me how to reach and guide him. He has a PDD-NOS diagnosis that the school doesn't agree with. Now I am trying to defend him in school because they see him as willful and manipulative. What are some areas of learning that I should be aware of? He doesn't know how to write, but copies, and doesn't know how to spell, but associates words as pictures, can't tie his shoes nor dress himself. Yet even with minor problems at school of him not doing work, being a grade behind and not being able to spell or read, the school resource teacher and others feel he is just willful and manipulative. I have documented every move since he began head banging at 11 months old. Are there any specific educational areas I should be pressing for documentation from Special Ed or the school?" Sincerely, A devoted mother of a misunderstood child

Answer: Chan Evans, M.Ed. Special Education, Doctoral student, North Carolina State University

From your letter I can't tell if your son is receiving special education services. You say the school and the resource teacher disagree with his diagnosis. If this is true, the first thing I suggest is to go through the initial placement process and have him identified for special education. As you may know, this will entail a psychological and educational assessment. You will also want a medical report to be included in the evaluation. If he received the PDD-NOS some years ago, it would be a good idea for his doctor to reevaluate him with updated information.

If he is receiving special education services, it seems that it may be time to update the IEP goals and objectives. You have the right to ask for a meeting at any time you feel it is necessary to change or add services to aid your son in his educational progress.

I would ask that a Functional Behavioral Assessment be used to try to discover some of the antecedents to his "willful and manipulative" behaviors. A logical explanation may be that he is acting out after being asked to do skills that he hasn't learned or has difficulty performing. The next step will be to create a plan, sometimes referred to as a Positive Behavioral Support Plan.

You may want to consider contacting a family advocate to help you in your negotiations with school personnel. And of course, you can file a Due Process petition if you feel your concerns are not being adequately addressed.

Here are a few resources that may help:
Beach Center on Families and Disabilities, University of Kansas (Positive Behavioral Supports project) www.beachcenter.org

Exceptional Children's Assistance Center. Functional Assessment & PBS and family advocacy. Parent information line: 1-800-962-6817. www.ecac-parentcenter.org

National Information Center for Children and Youth with Disabilities. PBS in the Home and Community: a Bibliography for Families. www.nichcy.org

Good luck!